textSep 14, 2012 9:11 pm
When Why Have Kids? came out, there were things I expected. I expected that people would think this was a book against parenting (it’s not). I expected that I would be criticized for taking a pro-formula feeding stance (I have). But I did not expect this.
As one does when they are promoting a new book, I’ve been pitching stories to various news outlets about issues in the book. (Here are some of the ones I’ve already written.) When you’re doing this, it’s quite normal that an editor will come back to you not really feeling your original pitch and ask you to write about something else. This is what happened when I pitched a story about the “mom-in-chief” conversation to a major news organization*. They didn’t like my proposed article. So this is what they suggested instead (emphasis mine):
Would Jessica be interested in writing something about weight loss after having a baby? We’re doing a lot of coverage around Jessica Simpson’s efforts to lose the baby pounds, and we’d love to hear from Jessica Valenti about what it was like for her to shed the weight. She can get as personal as she’d like—our readers love personal stories. Along with the actual process of losing weight (what she ate, when she exercised, etc), it would be interesting if she could focus on setting realistic expectations for yourself as a new mom. I feel like a lot of conversation among our audience has turned to the fact that new mothers aren’t prepared for the onslaught of all the worrying that comes with having a baby, including her looks.
When I had Layla, I actually lost all of my baby weight that very day! That’s what happens when you give birth almost 3 months early to a 2 pound baby. So chic! Shitty hospital food helps too.
I just can’t. So I made a video to bitch about it.
If you want to support my writing that does not include weight-loss tips, please consider buying Why Have Kids? Thanks, y’all.
*We all have to eat, and I’m not eager to burn bridges with big news outlets by naming them - even if they are being totally ridiculous.
textSep 04, 2012 7:05 pm
Upworthy Meets World is back! In case you missed the first installment, this here is our weekly feature focusing on Internet superheroes doing interesting, awesome work with the help of social media. This week, we caught up with Jessica Valenti and asked her about the important things in life: vaginas (and Internet activism). If you’re not sure who she is, stop reading this right now and go read “Full Frontal Feminism” instead. It’s fine! We’ll wait for you!
Here she is, demonstrating how we all feel about current attempts at legislation on women’s bodies (and also reacting to the guy who invented purity balls telling her that purity balls aren’t about virginity):
Why do you think Tumblr is such a great place for social justice communities to thrive?
I got into online feminism through straight old-school blogging, but once I found Tumblr I couldn’t turn away. What’s fantastic about Tumblr, specifically for feminism and activism, is that the tools to create community are inherent to the technology. It’s fantastic. I also think Tumblr takes what feminist blogging set out to do — democratize voices and who gets to speak and write about social justice — and takes it even further. You don’t need to buy a url for Tumblr, you don’t need to pay a webdesigner or try to drive traffic to your site. You gain a following organically, by being an active and interesting community member. I also think the speed by which news travels on Tumblr really lends itself to activism — as well as the sense of humor and biting sarcasm that’s such a huge part of the voices on Tumblr. When you do this work, you need to keep a sense of humor (because it’s such emotionally difficult and draining work). Besides, using humor — and gifs! — as political tools is incredibly smart; it makes the issues more accessible.
How does the Internet make modern feminism more accessible to women who don’t consider themselves feminists?
It used to be that if you were reading a feminist book or publication, it’s because you were already interested in feminism. But with the internet, people are finding feminism accidentally (and subversively) — through Google searches, social networks, etc. So all of a sudden, young people who maybe would never be able to take a Women’s Studies class (or wouldn’t want to) or who didn’t give much thought to social justice issues have them in their lives anyway. It’s an incredible kind of outreach.
How do passionate people successfully get all political on their social network friends? It could easily backfire.
I think the best thing we can do as activists who care about getting our family and friends involved is to meet them where they’re at. Let’s say one of your friends on Facebook posts a sexist joke. If you immediately attack them, they’re going to shut down. My tactic is to keep asking genuinely interested questions until they talk themselves into a corner (or into the truth!) Did you really think that was funny? Why? Do you really feel that women are [fill in the blank here]? Wow, I didn’t know you felt that way. For a more proactive approach — when you’re trying to get your friends to take action on an issue — I like to frame it in pop culture to make it more palatable. But the real question that passionate people need to ask themselves is this: Where is your political and activist energy best spent? If you think you can create real change debating friends on a social network, go for it. But if you’re talking to brick walls, or if you’re in a fight with someone that doesn’t mean that much to your life — maybe step back and reconsider. Self-care is really important and our activist energy is a precious resource — we need to use it wisely!
Misogyny on the Internet is pretty legendary at this point, including serious transmisogyny. What are your top 5 favorite blogs that are doing right by the ladies?
I read so many blogs it would be impossible to name my favorite 5… So here are 5 blogs I’m reading right now that I’ve been really enjoying over the last few months (in no particular order!)
http://queerblackfeminist.blogspot.com/ - Terrific analytic mind.
http://manboobz.com/ - Taking down “men’s rights activists” with a great sense of humor.
http://annfriedman.com/ - Yeah, she’s my friend, but you can’t beat her gifs.
http://www.carefreewhitegirl.com/ - Just brilliant.
http://fuckyeahfeminists.com/ - Your basic must-read.
I should also say that a lot of new feminist voices I follow I end up finding through Tumblr and Twitter…
What is the upworthiest piece of content you’ve seen recently?
This amazing post on the downside of telling people to “love themselves.”
Last and most importantly: Vaginas?
Emphasis ours. We at Upworthy would like to thank Jessica profusely for her time in answering these questions and encourage you to go buy her new book, “Why Have Kids?,” which is available on Kindle for $4.99. That is the same as a beverage at Starbucks and probably will make you more awesome in the long run than telling your barista your name is Tony Stark.* Just saying.
*Though that’s also awesome, and we encourage that too.